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Who Are You When No One Is Looking?

by Mary Ellen Wasielewski
Who Are You When No One Is Looking?

At this time of new resolutions, how many of those same resolutions were on last year's list?

There is so much pressure to redesign our lives with New Year's Resolutions that failure is all but assured. Our wish for weight loss, a job that is fulfilling, learning new skills or gaining new knowledge are often abandoned within 6 weeks.

We strive to be the hero of our own lives but so often we are unable to see the outcome so clearly that it becomes etched in your vision. So another year passes and the goal remains a dream.

Success is easy to predict as is failure. Consider what you are doing when no one else is looking.

If your goal is to lose weight through diet and exercise, let's say, then look at your schedule and show yourself where, when and what you are taking care of, both the increase in movement and the decrease of sweets or carbs or calories. Is this something you dread? If so, it doesn't usually last.

Do you fall into the habit of watching tv instead of picking up a book? It's easy to do. Just one football game , this one is important and sooner or later your past habits destroy your future goals .

As with most lessons this one had to be learned the hard way .

A few years back I joined a weight loss challenge at a local gym. This was not my first year, I tried previous years and would lose a few pounds but like many I would slack off after the first 4 weeks and any progress I made was gone.

This one year it was different. Motivated by a picture I saw of myself I went at this with more commitment than before. I had the goal written out, and an image in my mind that fueled me for the first few weeks.

There were a lot of hours at the gym. To all that watched I looked like I was destined to once and for all, but they only saw me in the gym,

On the scale at the gym, my trainor, Katie O'Connell McCarron BLT Strategies Health and Wellness Coach walked past me, and as she did she asked the questions “Who are you when no ones looking?

That's a great coach, she doesn’t give you the answer, we know the answer, eat less, move more. She gave me a question to consider for my own “ah ha moment”.

I considered what my life looked like when I was alone and no one saw. I wasn’t disappointed, my food intact was not so bad, my daily gym was pretty good and a few glasses of wine couldn’t make that much of a difference.

My epiphany bridge came when I considered the fact that losing weight was not the problem, my mindset was. If I was to remain a weight and size, I would be an athlete. Maybe not competitive, but I needed to believe I was an athlete.

The negative connotation of going to the gym fell to an image that had a purpose, I am in training.

Perspective changes outcomes.

Who are you when no one is looking ? How are you spending your time after hours? If you showed me everything in your schedule, what would it tell me?

Are you employed or deployed? It doesn’t matter if you work for an organization, or if you are an entrepreneur. When you know the value of what you do and you are using your gifts and talents then you are most likely deployed.

I often suggest to clients who are dissatisfied with their employment and there is not a clear option in front of them to find a way to volunteer the gifts and talents they have to a cause they can believe in. Deploy where you can make a difference. This opens the door for employment to feed your bank account, while volunteering feeds your spirit.

What are the principles that guide your life ? There is a set of principles that we use to guide us. Those rules and laws that are permanent and unchanging, How have your principles lined up with the life you are living?

Who do you spend your time with? The old saying “you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with” has been with us because it is so often proven true. The people you are around shape what you talk about., think about, and how you behave.

When my perspective changed about the gym as a training program, instead of a weight loss program, I found friends who ran, or played tennis, others who also wanted training.

Step back to consider if the goals and objectives of the person you want to be is being supported by how you spend your time.

Mary Ellen Wasielewski Executive Coach, writer, speaker, and Amazon international best selling author who inspires and empowers you to remain healthy, productive and engaged during adverse times with resilience and agility for personal and professional growth

BLT Strategies 617 340 9548

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